Winter Break, 1999:
…and after we went to Mexico for a few days with some friends, he went to do a three-day Millennium Ceremony with Jaichima and Rutury. I did not go along with him for the specific reason that I wanted to give him the opportunity to meet his spirit without any guidance or reliance upon his parent. I knew he’d be guided by his godparents and watched by some of my friends who were there, and that he would be safe. He would be supported. And, at thirteen, he would go through his initiation under the guidance of teachers that we both loved and trusted.
His transformation was amazing and beautiful. He didn’t talk about what happened, and I didn’t ask. We both knew how sacred ceremony can be and that the sacred is most often held close to the heart and spirit; at the very least, it is very personal and not always to be shared readily. Besides, I didn’t need to know what happened, I could see the results. Kyle was self-assured and connected. He literally glowed from within. His self-esteem was soaring! He knew that he knew. He did not question it.
Excerpt from “Leap of Faith” in Weaving the Magic Thread
A couple of weekends ago, Kyle flew out to California from Denver and we drove out to West Sonoma County to attend the weekend ceremony in honor of the fourth year of Jaichima’s passing. This was a particularly important ceremony, not that the ones we had attended in her honor in the past few years in Phoenix weren’t, but this was the final one.
He flew in the night before (well the very wee hours of the morning of) the first day of the ceremony. We had time to drive out to the place where I go every Full Moon to do ceremony. I have wanted to take him there ever since I started going there regularly. Each month I send a video of the ocean and the waves as they come ashore in whatever state they are in so that he can see what the ocean he loves so much looks like in the moment. Sometimes it’s foggy, sometimes there’s rough surf, and sometimes it’s calm.
Kyle and I spent a lot of time at the beach when he was a young child, before we left Napa for Arizona; however, he’d never been to this particular beach before. When we got there, it was mid-day on one of those serene days of strong but softly rolling surf, soft breezes and sunshine. It was sweet to watch him take it all in, and sweeter still that he acknowledged that he can tell why it is so special to me.
We spent a little time together, and then separated to be alone with the energy of it. Kyle performed a ritual at the water’s edge in which he cleansed himself and readied himself for the next step that the weekend ceremony would bring. Kyle had arrived in a cloud of emotions that surrounded him. He had been going through a very difficult time in the previous two weeks, and the reason that I worked hard to get him to the ceremony was so that he could be guided to finding his way once again. The change in him began at the beach. Even as the sand gave way under his feet, his protective emotional layer gave way and he softened in to being ready to be shifted in the tides of the ceremony.
Knowing that we would be going to the beach, Rutury had given me a small task for Kyle and me to perform at the water’s edge before we arrived at the ceremony. After our separate time of quiet and reflection at the water’s edge, we came together again to complete it. Then it was time for us to make our way to where the ceremony was being held.
Rutury, happy to see his godson, and knowing that Kyle was going through a rough time and was in a tender place emotionally, took great care to spend time with him and council him throughout the weekend. Woven through those special times and ceremonies was the strand of connection between Kyle and me that had been frayed over the past couple of years. With each moment that we shared, it became stronger and more vibrant, taking on a new color blended from our experiences together in the present, and throughout his life.
The name of this blog, Weaving the Magic Thread refers to this thread that weaves between Kyle and me. This has been the story of how I became who I am, and then, how I used what I had experienced and learned in order to bring Kyle in to adulthood as best I could. Kyle and I were fortunate to meet Jaichima and Rutury twenty-eight years ago. Twenty-seven years ago, they agreed to become his godparents. Over the years they have been the driving spiritual force behind how I have raised Kyle, much of what I taught him, and how he grew to be the amazing man that he is now; a true spiritual warrior.
Rutury gave Kyle certain tasks and responsibilities to perform throughout the weekend. I watched as Kyle accepted each one with honor and grace, bringing his knowledge of ritual to each one while still remaining open to the newness each would bring to him, as they did to all of us. At the fire the first night, four people had been chosen to blow conch shells. I stood in the circle of people around the fire, listening as the tones came from the four directions. One tone was so clear and vibrant; it hit the very core of me with its connection to the earth, the fire, and the fog-laden sky. It was no wonder, I thought to myself as I saw Kyle emerge from the darkness outside the fire circle. Others remarked later on at the specialness of his sounding of the conch, and so I know that it’s not just mother-pride that heard it.
The following day, we went to the ocean (albeit a different beach) to continue the ceremonies. As Kyle stood with the cold surf washing over his feet and legs, blowing the conch for all it and he were worth, the glimmer of the light on the water mingled with the light emanating from him. I could barely contain my tears as I watched the healing process in him take place. It isn’t that it has been instantaneous or that he hasn’t had to complete deep and soulful reflection and reassessment, but the energy of it had truly begun. I knew that he would be alright, and that he will take in to his future the same resolve to bring his life in to keeping with his own brilliance of spirit that he had so many years ago.